Attempting to be a man of consistency

My desire is to not be a slave of my circumstances, to constantly rejoice in the Lord. To be constantly submitting my life to Him.

I was going through Psalm 84 this morning  It was these two verses which struck me the most.

Psalm 84:6-7
"As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion."


These verses are in reference to those who dwell in the House of the Lord.


What does it mean to dwell in the house of the Lord?
Expository response
- Those who do are not in the tents of wickedness, Therefore an avoidance of sin is key.
- Heart for God, what do you care about?


My personal thoughts
- Prayer
- An obvious belief and recognition that you are insufficient and must rely upon God
- Confession of sin
- You are not in control, you can not create the feeling of being in the presence of the Lord


On a complete side note I heard recently a sweet definition of character.
- Having the ability to follow through on a decision after the emotions for that decision have worn off.

I am finding this most applicable when it comes to spreading the Gospel. The Great Commission is not based upon your emotions and whether you feel like doing it. It is based upon your new nature in Christ, upon the power of the Lord who has given you every tool you need. We are deficient, He is not. A helpful verse in this has been Colossians   1:28,29. Out of His energy. We are all called to reproduce in kind. I want to be a man who is being used by God to lead others to Christ on a regular basis. I have recently started praying on a regular basis to be given opportunities daily to share the Gospel. We shall see what happens. I pray that I can be a man of character, that you too can be a man or woman of character.

Pray For da men

God has opened up some sweet doors on the U of A campus this fall. He has given us one, I believe to be faithful, Freshmen believer as well as blossoming friendships with his hall mates.

Please pray for this Freshman to be an anchor for Christ in the hall and for his hall mates.
Please pray that we would have some sort of regular Bible discussion by November.
Please pray for me to be faithful in this opportunity.

Back in Tucson, looking backward and forward (like a chameleon!)

How do sum up 9 of the most gloriously intense weeks of your life? By leaving stuff out!

The main subjects which I believe God worked into me in a deeper manner this summer:

- Entrusting the development of the men which God has called me to pour into to God.

- I cannot even change my own heart, how could I expect to change the hearts of other men?!

- Desire for constant prayer, prayer in general, praying for big things.

- This was developed through my own weakness (as a leader, friend, co-worker, etc.) which revealed my obvious need to be constantly praying. Also being influenced by a book which talked about how Dawson Trotmen, started navs in the 40’s, would just pray for 2 hrs with other men every morning for God to do work. Through that and other areas of faithfulness that one man had a drastic affect on the world. I desire to be used by God in just as large ways.

- Desire for daily scripture memory and review

- Having your mind constantly focused on the word greatly affects your outlook on life and your heart in a positive manner. It places your eyes on Christ and not other things.

- Evangelism

- More of just being open and real with those who don’t know Christ, instead of boxing off that portion of your life. It is a very simple, easy, non-weird way to share Christ with others. This has to be combined with prayer of course.

The team at the end:

          I believe things ended well with them. Bart ended up leaving 2 days early, because it was quite difficult for him to see his ex daily. This was a bummer, but he stuck around for the last Bible study which I know the team and I appreciated. He continues to struggle but is honestly pursuing the Lord and sharing himself, via email, with the rest of the team.

          I realized at the end that they had grabbed hold of my heart. For some ridiculous reason I did not believe that they would I miss them and I am excited to see what God does in their lives. I would love to see the things that became a regular practice during the program integrated into their lives. It seems like this is happening, but time will tell. My prayer for them and myself is that that what was learned will truly affect the way we see our world from now on.

          In regard to the “conflict” at the end, it was not as big of a deal as I thought it was. God worked out a way for it to be taken care of in a non in your face kind of way, which was sweet. I believe the right decisions were made. (Could I be anymore vague!?)

If you want more info please feel free to contact me. 

The end is always the hardest and yet it is the sweetest

Bueno!

We have entered the last 2 weeks and the proverbial dog poop has hit the proverbial fan. Lets pause a second and rejoice together ........................................................ WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need I reference all the verses referencing our call to rejoice in our suffering?! Need I reference all the verses speaking to our future glory in Christ which will cause any struggle here to seem insignificant?! Praise God! Have you not seen? Have you not heard He is the Lord God almighty! The Alpha and Omega whom has created all things! I digress.

Moral of the story, conflict is rearing its beautiful face in our team! I would be lying if I thought it was beautiful at first. In my weak spirit, I wanted to run, I wanted for these next two weeks to be over, I wanted to go and die and be with my Lord, lying on my back in desperation looking up at my God, pleading with Him to pour His Spirit out upon me that I might serve, love, guide, and lead well. That I may know when to speak and when to be silent. He has answered my prayer! I am still clueless as to what will happen or exactly how I will respond. All I know is that my spirit is refreshed by the Spirit of God and it is His time to act through me, to act strongly with graceful truth. Praise be to Him for I am nothing, merely a tool for His work. May I be laid low and He be lifted up!
- Please pray that the team would be gracefully truthful with one another, leaving this program with a greater ability to deal with conflict and friendships which they will treasure for the years to come. To not look back with disgust for one another because the conflict was handled poorly.

These past few weeks conversation at work was not what it started out to be. There was little to no depth. I would pray before work consistently asking for the Spirit to lead and make deep conversation happen. I am unsure if I was too weak to listen and act, but I know He has acted now. In the Spirit's strength I was able to have a discussion with my lesbian co-worker on homo-sexuality and what she perceived to be the church's response to it. It was a sweet conversation where I believe I was able to speak truth gracefully. It also led to some deeper issues in her life. I believe we both left the conversation with a greater understanding and love for one another. I know I love her more as a result.
- Please pray for her and for God to be opening her eyes to the truth. That only through faith in the saving blood of Christ can one have life, now and after death.

P.S. A Christian guy just started at my Starbucks. He is here intending to plant a church. It is a sweet blessing to see that what God has used me to start or continue in someones heart will be continued after I leave.

A lesson I continue to learn is that I MUST maintain consistent time with the Lord. I went two days without having a quiet time with my Lord and I felt like I would die. It extremely limited my ability to be useful for the King.
- Please pray that I would be able to say no to fun things when they get in the way of me getting time with God

God is a baller! Recognize.

Team Weekend!!!!

Had a sweet time in bible study last night. I love my team and how they pick up where I leave off. I just show up and watch them and God do work. It ended with a sweet run back to the dorm through the rain where I personally was prancing around like a crazy person singing at the top of my lungs "I am singing in the rain! I am singing in  the rain! What a glorious feeling! I am happy again!" This run was awesome and enjoyable because God has blessed us these past few days with 90 degree weather and 50% humidity. When we got back to the dorm everyone else was outside playing in the rain too! So we proceeded to join them, splash around in puddles, use the slip n' slide, etc. One of the funnest evenings I have experienced so far. God is good and brings much joy!

We head out tonight for NYC! Where we will be staying in the worst congressional district for crime in the U.S. Some nav girls from NYU are putting up with us and feeding us.
Basic Sched:
Get T in the dub in Central Park
Group discussion time
Lunch
Broadway show
BBQ

Sunday
Tim Keller's Church
Lunch
Watch World Cup Final
Head home

Prayer
- For this to be a pivotal moment for everyone on the team and propel them with strength for the remaining 3 weeks.

More than halfway

Work
Continues to go well. I continue having discussions on faith with the jdub girl, she referred to herself as a jdub so I feel okay calling her that. Still waiting to see where we differ greatly in views, though we have only talked for about 15min. I have been meaning to get coffee with her.
- Please pray for our interactions
While getting t in the dub at work I was randomly asked to write a story by one of my co-workers for her. I plan on writing a modified judge story for her. ( A judge story is basically any story where the law must be upheld and a penalty paid where someone who is innocent steps in for the person who is guilty. Usually the creator of the law is the one who sacrifices themselves. )
- Please pray that the Spirit would be leading as a write it.
Asked one of my co-workers  to read the bible, he said maybe if he has time. Previously while I was on a break and reading my bible he asked to look at it and we briefly chatted it up about some of his favorite Psalms. I worked with him two years ago and he is a man I deeply love and enjoy. We shall see what the Lord does here.
- Please pray for him to have a desire to study the bible with me and make the time for it.
Been watching the world cup with one of my other co-workers. It has led to some sweet conversations. He seems pretty comfortable around me and we are able to discuss real life things and not just surface things throughout the games.
- Please pray for God to be working on his heart and for the Spirit to be leading my tongue.
As I look back and read this I am amazed what God is doing in such a short time. Once again none of this is me and I have just shown up on the scene, not been weird, shared my life, prayed, and watched God work.
- Please pray for God to be opening the hearts and minds of all those whom I am working with.

Team
Starting to develop a deeper love for all of them, but I still want more. We are starting to get to the point where deeper issues are coming out. Some core issues which have reared their head.
- Please be praying that the men on my team would be pursuing the Lord whole heartedly the remainder of the summer and that He would be doing great work on them in these areas.
I still desire, we desire, for evangelism to be the focus of our faith. My prayer is that all of these men would be become solid men of faith or reproduce other men who produce other men who follow Christ, and so on.
- Please be praying for this to happen.

Program
We are all amazed we only have 4 weeks left. The summer has zoomed by. More of a family feel continues to develop and I feel we are coming out of a brief slump.
Parents weekend just finished up. It was fun to meet some peoples parents. I also had my aunt and uncle come up whom I had not seen for 2 years, so that was a sweet.
We are going to attempt to have two people in the program give their testimony every evening to encourage the family feel all the more.
- Please pray for a continued program wide focus on God and sharing of each others burdens.

Myself
Currently doing well. Time in the word has been good. I have been taking drastic steps to fully eradicate portions of lust from my heart. In these steps and desires to pursue righteousness and present my body to Christ, sin has seized the opportunity to make my lustful passions more intense than they were before. Satan is fighting hard to maintain his stay in a portion of my heart, but I want life! Eternal life! I am a slave to Righteousness! Not sin!
- Please pray that I would rely upon the Lord in this struggle and not try to defeat it out of my own weakness.

Seeking the Lord's Vision

Team
We are just about to finish up week four and things are starting to get into a rhythm, team dynamics are getting settled, and it is time to avoid complacency and seek the Lord on what He has for us to do with a unified and authentic team. One possible idea which has presented is to have a prayer booth set up. Prayer booth - Sign stating "Prayer Booth" is placed in front of booth and those within the booth ask those who are passing by if they would like prayer. A simple way to just go out and be non-aggressively uncomfortable for the sake of the Gospel. We are going to pray about it until Sat night and see if it is something God is leading us into or just some idea.
- Please pray for our guidance and for the advancement of Christ and the Gospel in what ever we do.

Program
It is also a time where people are starting to put on their spiritual hawtness goggles. They are comparable to beer goggles. In this close spiritually focused environment, people naturally become more attractive to one another than normal. It has the possibility to distract peoples focus away from Christ and cause them to pore themselves into a member of the opposite gender.
- Would you please be praying for all members of the program to have self control and wait until after the program to pursue these desires.

Work
God continues to do business at work. Recently had a sweet convo about my history with Christ with one of my Jehovah's Witness co-workers. I expect and desire to hear more of her story. She seemed really interested in discussing spiritual matters. As we discussed another co-worker kept pausing near us like he was interested but wasn't comfortable enough to join in. I am excited to see what God continues to do there. He puts the words in my mouth as He did with Moses.
- Please pray for the Spirit to continue to move in me and for God to open the hearts and minds of those I am working with.

Me
There is a dumb stupid cartoon that I got hooked on by my, at the time 9 year old, cousin two years ago. I feel God calling me not to watch it at least for the remainder of the program and possibly forever. But in the midst of this call from God my sin nature and desire to disregard the call of God have been enhanced all the more. Through it I have realized that I would have picked the apple as Adam and Eve did so I have been learning much through this struggle. I feel God calling me to trust Him with this so He can do business in other areas. The show comes out on Thursday mornings at 8am. In my brief success until 4pm I already sensed God bringing up deeper sins, and yet I failed and watched the show. Man is fickle. I am a man and I suck and I need Christ.
- Please be praying for me to submit and gain victory against this idol.

Because of the blood of Christ and the Spirit's on going work in my life.

Jon

Hey Brotholomew!

Brotholomew - The given nickname for Bart. Kinda went the other way on that one. My team really isn't into the whole brevity thing.
Iceberg - Phil's nick name. Why? I have no idea
Suga Ray - Ray's nickname, cause he is oh so sweet.
Andres - Andres' name, we have yet to pin one down for him

We are still working on a team name, but it will be here soon. The best we came up with is Team Barge, its an inside joke.

Work
God has continued to manifest Himself despite my inability and weakness. I have had spiritual or religion based conversations with a good portion of my co-workers, and have been blessed to be able to watch some of the World Cup with one guy from work. All I have really done is just shown up. I have not had to be super intentional with my conversation, it has just happened.
- Please pray for grace in my own speech. Eastern religions have come up in conversation and I have no frame of reference of how to respond to them.
- Please pray for depth of relationship with the guy I have been watching the world cup with.

Team
Another area where God is doing business despite my best efforts. Had a great time with the whole team out at dinner on Sunday. We are able to have a blast together while having out conversation salted with deeper subjects. My one on ones with all the guys this week have been good this week. Starting to relate with them all individually on a deeper level. I still don't know where God is going and what he desires. I feel my role is to keep us in motion and let Him direct us. Our current group direction is aimed and greater authenticity and intimacy with one another, sharing Christ with those in our social circles, encouraging one another towards Christ, and loving the homeless population.
- Please prayer for my identity as a servant to the men on the team. For that to be my focus and not leadership.
- Overall growth, that this would be more than just a fun summer, but a time where they are challenged and solid growth is instilled in them.

Homeless
Quick story - About 8 of us guys went down to Battery Park to watch the sunset over the lake. While we were hanging out a woman came up to us asking if she could just hang out with us for a bit and wait for a friend to show up. BTdub she was homeless. We obliged and said yes. She had immediately mentioned that she had been raped 3 days previous and just felt safer being around us. As a group of men we really had no idea how to respond or lover her. She had said it so nonchalant. That is so far outside of the realm of anything I have ever encountered. Her friend showed up after 5 min and she left. I realized later that we had spoken with her a few days before. There really is no point to my story. Only to demonstrate the hurt and pain within the homeless community. It causes me to think back to Isaiah 58:6-12
- Please pray for the many interactions we will have with the homeless. To love them well, feed them, and clothe them. To not look down upon them and help fulfill their deep human need to be known and love which we all share.

Myself
Currently not feeling the presence of the Lord. Could not explain why just know that it is true. My relationship is not based upon feeling though. I am called to wrestle for that blessing as Israel did.
- Pray that I would not loose focus on Christ despite my lack of feeling

Getting so pitted!

Bueno,

 God continues to ball it out!

Had some sweet time discussing spiritual matters and God with one of my co-workers this morning. I don't really know where it is going with her but I will continue to pray and hope that I can maintain my humble walk with God, not being overbearing but being gentle and heeding the Spirit's timing.

Also started to hit it off with another guy at work. He is playing as a drummer for a band in the Jazz festival which is going on this week in Burlington. I plan on taking a few guys to his show tomorrow. We also hit it off talking about soccer. World Cup baby! He invited me over to his house on Saturday to watch US play England! Should be a sweet time of fun and getting to build some bonds between us.

Had a conversation with a homeless man yesterday, approx age 50, don't know if he is the guy God wants our team to invest in but God is opening doors in the community on many fronts!

Had my first 1-1's today with 2 of the guys on my team. Excited to see where God takes us all this summer.

In the midst of all of this I am feeling rather distant from God. I can not explain why. It just merely is. Praise be to God that my lack of faith does not negate His faithfulness!

Prayer
- My two co-workers, for God to create comfort in our relationships and open up discussion about Christ and the Gospel
- Man in the homeless community for our team to pore into
- Encouragement of men on the team, some are facing suffering right now, that they would rejoice in it.
- Please pray Proverbs 3:5-6 on my behalf.

BOOSH!

GMS has been tremendous. The team leaders seem to all be on the same page and I really enjoy all of them and the different elements which they bring to the team. Been having regular times of encouragement and prayer together which have been much needed and I think necessary for us to be effectively serving our teams, so I love that everyone is on board.

Some would say my team is off the chain, others would say just plain awesome. You could go on but that would just be ridiculous. Point being I really enjoy Bart, Andres, Phil, and Ray. There has been a big push and prayer for authentic relations between us and I think God is making it happen. Before coming I was praying heavily for their to be a focus on evangelism in my team. Oh BOY did God answer! BOOSH! Two of my guys under very little encouragement basically went out on their own to go find homeless people to love on and somehow ended up at a drug rehab center talking to people. Praise God for being a stud and answering prayer.

Prayer
- For their to be a continued desire to share the Gospel and that I too would grow and be challenged in that area.
- Humility - I have done nothing. God has done everything
- Just pray without ceasing for your own benefit. How are you doing?

Your brother in Christ! A man who knows little trying to grasp at the pinky of Gods hand.

Down a man

One of my guys Johnathon was not able to make it up to the program. So I am down to having only four guys on my team. The last of which arrives today.

Started at Starbucks today. Opening shift. Not quite on east coast time so the 5 am wake up was rough. But I am enjoying being back with some familiar faces and excited to be more awake and social-able in the future. 

The past few days have been really busy and socially intense. I am realizing I am not the extrovert I thought I was due to the retreats I have to take every few hours to my room to pray, read, or do nothing. It has been good though. I really enjoy my team and have some sweet talks with all of them. There is a thirst among them for quality time together, but we have only had about 10 min of quality team time. I was not very intentional when conversing during our team scavenger hunt around Burlington. We went on a scavenger hunt around Burlington to give those who did not know the area a better idea of where things are. It took 3 hours. Kind of bummed but there is still much time.

Continue praying for team unity and for me to be constantly walking with Christ that I may be a great servant to them and their faith.

Arrival and Preparation

I arrived at 130am to the Burlington airport on Thursday after a 2 hour delay in Newark. My buddy and fellow teamleader Greg from GMS 08 picked me up. What a stud! He is also going to be my roommate for the summer.

We have spent these few days before the teams arrive (They arrive tomorrow afternoon) getting to know each other, team leaders and staff. All 7, 3 girls and 4 guys, of us team leaders have really bonded and I am really excited for what God is going to be doing this summer. We already joke it up together and I am confident they will become people whom I can deeply trust and encourage. There is a sweet mixture of joking around and spurring one another on.
 One major thing which God has put on all of our hearts is to reach out to the homeless community here and bringing our teams alongside with us in reaching out to them. Which is HUGE and an answer to prayer.

My team consists of 5 guys
Ray, Andres, Johnathon, Phil, and Bart.
They range in places in life from just finishing their freshman year to being recently graduated, aka older than me. I am excited and fearful at the same time. God has given me many ideas for where to take them but I really wont know until it is game time. My prayer is that I will be walking closely with Jesus and getting my guidance from Him and having my actions flow from my closeness with Christ. Pulling a Micah 6:8 deally.

Work
Went down there today to say hi to my manager. So excited to be back. She already has me scheduled for 17 hours next week which is clutch! Already pickin up where I left off with some of the guys who worked there 2 years ago.

Prayer
- Unity to quickly build in team
- That I would welcome and love them well from the start always looking 1st to their interests
- That they would have a teachable spirit and a desire to know the Lord more.

Vision for the Summer

I was spending some time today with God with the goal of developing some vision for my team this summer. Here is what I believe God to have given me. Please join me in praying it into reality, because I see even now my weakness as a man in being able to communicate and share this vision well with the team.

Vision condensed
That our faith might increase through time with our Lord reading His truth, memorization, prayer, and giving up our comforts that others might know the truth of eternal life found in Christ.

In order to communicate this Vision well I want to have the following questions answered before I arrive in VT.
1 - Why do we get time in the word?
2 - Why do we memorize scripture?
3 - Why do we pray?
4 - Why do we evangelize?


My desire is that evangelism would be a main focus in my team. It is something I personally would love to improve on and bring the men on my team along side me in. Working with them to really create an atmosphere around them which allows for God to be discussed and shared. Seeing God's word proven true.

Ideas/goals I have and God willing desire to carry out -
- Spend 2-3 hours a week with my co-workers at Starbucks and bring guys on my team along with me and encourage them to build relationships at work.
- Spend 4 hours a week down at the local homeless teenager 20 something hangout Specter. Bring the guys with me. Share life with those whom have been forgotten and unloved by the masses.
- Spend a few nights throughout the summer on the street. Becoming all things to all peoples that they might know Him.

These are lofty goals that will only be accomplished if God is doing them. I share these ideas for one main reason. That I might be held accountable by others in the body for what God has put on my heart. So please through out the summer ask me about these goals and encourage me in them. For I am weak and fallen and can not out of my own strength achieve what I want to do.

Prayer
- For the men on the team to quickly bond and be united in one vision, whether it be the one above or not, submitting themselves fully to our Lord and not leaning upon their own understanding.
- For a man in the homeless community. That whomever he may be that he would respond quickly and that a bond might be quickly formed with him.
- For a man at my work, I have a guy in mind but we shall see where the Lord leads.

Ultimately the point of all of this is that the Love of Christ and Eternal Life that He holds may be spread to all.  I want new brothers and sisters in the Lord. God wants them. For there is so much more to life than the 70-90 years we spend on this earth then living for myself.

Definition of Suffering

Jeremiah 12:5 

"If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting, what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?

Romans 5:3-5

³More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 8:18

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Philippians 3:7-8 7But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ Acts 5:41 The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Considering these verses and probably some others that I cant even think of I believe I need to redefine what I perceive to be "Suffering." Suffering (My definition) It is an experience which reveals the fallen nature of this world and removes a portion of the crutch, the fallen world, which you have been leaning on. Forcing you to go to and grow in your one hope, Christ. For Christ is more than enough, this world is but a shadow. Allowing you to grow strong in Christ and run with horses, therefore improving the amount of damage God can do with you for His kingdom in the future. It is a blessing to experience it, rejoice that you have been blessed with it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this definition. This definition is far from perfect and is up for many revisions.

God flipping man's perception of fasting on its head - Isaiah 58

I historically and even potentially now have been horrible at fasting. I would make it at a maximum 24 hours and buckle, saying to myself "Jesus is graceful" and then grabbing the nearest food item and stuffing it in my mouth to satisfy the weakness of my human body. Not exactly what I call the picture of relying upon God and His strength.

But today is a new day! In an effort to finally be successful in a fast I have asked a couple friends to ask me about it and keep me accountable. In addition to this I decided to start my fast with a trip to Isaiah 58. A chapter titled in my Bible as "True and False Fasting." I have read it before and figured it would be the perfect way to start my day and my fast. God did business on my previous perception of the proper way to fast through this chapter. I wonder why I have failed to grasp the ideas I grasped today in previous readings.

My previous perception of fasting revolved around me being in constant prayer about what I wanted God to do and how I wanted Him to answer me. This could not be farther from the truth according to 58. God turns it up by saying true fasting revolves around your service and caring for the poor and homeless. Centers around you looking first to the interests of others. "THEN you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.'" It is by placing your focus on others that what you desire and are fasting about will be answered by God! This idea should permeate throughout the rest of our lives as well, but especially when we are fasting. We have all heard the last shall be first.  This applies to all life. I need to change the way in which I think and operate. I need to truly believe that working to serve others constantly is ACTUALLY in my best interests. Trust God for what He says He is going to do.


How do I this? How do these ideas and truths get changed into action and a new heart? 
I currently know it can NOT come from a misplaced sense of self righteousness. (Gal 6:2-5) The strength can not come from me. The glamor of inviting a homeless person into your house, feeding them, and having them sleep on your bed fades rather quickly. The praise of man can not satisfy the discomfort it will cause you. 
All I have after little thought, this is all coming from my morning T in the Dub, is prayer and just doing it, just buying a homeless guy lunch, just inviting him into your house and trusting God to provide the strength to endure. I guess it all comes down to taking a leap of faith, but I am just a man and my perspective is small and I make mistakes so take everything I say with a grain of salt and examine it up against the Word. 

Spring Break 2010

My last spring break as a UA college student has come and gone. This fact hit me in the chest on one of the last nights we were up on the res in Chinle Arizona. The trip was awesome and hard at the same time. Definitely a huge change up from the previous 3 which I have gone on.

Different because of the lack of time with God, but God was still meeting me and others quite well where we were, different because I never got to have any deep intention conversations with anyone. Which I perceive to be my bread and butta! God wasn't having it, He wanted me to be learning other things.

The biggest area that God was working in was in leadership.
Things learned over the week:
- The words which exit my mouth can have either a tremendous positive or negative effect on those whom I am leading.
- Leading is much more than just telling people to do things, it is being encouraging, gentle, finding the balance between doing it yourself and delegating, seeking the Lord, providing goals and direction, seeking advice from others, being willing to take flack, listening to those you are leading to better serve them, sacrificing your own desires and wants for the sake of others, etc. etc.
These were just some of the standouts.

This has been my go to verse as well as a few from Philippians 2.

2 Tim 2:24-26
²⁴And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, ²⁵correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, ²⁶and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Welp thats all for now. Cant wait to graduate, though it isn't for another 9 months.

Links to photos from the trip: (Facebook account required)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2521755&id=10136743
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45600&id=1644438256&ref=mf

Changes

Nearing the end of my college career, graduating in December, and things are changing!
Picture is of Andy and I.

 I had a long conversation with Andy a few days ago discussing how our vision for life is being solidified here at the end of college. Our two particular visions for life have been separating over the past year. Historically our visions have been then same. ( Andy and I btdub are extremely close friends and he has been with me in every struggle I have experienced during my college career. I equate our friendship to that of Jonathan and David depicted in 1 and 2 Samuel. ) To me vision means the following, direction from God and what you view to be your main focus in life. Mine has maintained a path focused on investing in the guys around me, Andy's has begun to drift from this placing a major focus on his fiance. For a time I had a fear that Andy was starting to drift towards comfort and away from expanding God's kingdom. Through our talk, God's guidance, and even talks with older men I am beginning to understand how this is not the case at all.


We have all been crafted and worked to have different giftings and placements within this world. I am realizing that not all are meant for the "glory" of obvious ministry. For some, their role is to lye in bed and pray because they are constantly in and out of surgery because of a lasting infection and that is all they can do. For others it may simply be they do not have the courage or social capacity to be doing explicit, though they fight in prayer for both the capacity and courage, but God continues not to bless them with those gifts. They have to maintain their contentment and satisfaction in their identity in Christ, God's final word, and God's grace.

Moral of the story I do not believe I have the right to look down upon someone because they are not doing obvious acts for the advancement of Gods kingdom. We are not all called to be apostles. For some this verse is a description of how their lives should be led.

1 Thessalonians 4:10b-12
But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, ¹¹and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, ¹²so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.


On other items: Really excited for school to be done. I really dislike it, and my call to be hanging with guys seems apparent because I seem to be doing it more than school and enjoy it so much more. But I must press on where I am and work to exceed in school though it be extremely difficult to gain motivation. Can't wait to move to Cali in January!!!!

Finally cut up my alloy for Senior Design, and should begin heat treatments next week.

Should start fundraising for being a GMS team leader this summer pretty soon, pumped for that!!!  Already starting praying for my team and the leadership team.

There is seemingly a large vacancy for male bible study leaders for this fall. None of the guys in my study are in position to assume that role currently. All are solid men of God whom I trust, but they lack a desire to be a leader in that area. Some have chosen other areas of leadership which is great, but I would love to see some of them step up and assume a leadership position in the fall and help some Freshmen men know the Lord more.

Prayer Requests
- Motivation in School - It so often escapes me
- Unity for the team of guys I will be leading this summer.
- God would raise leaders out of Andy and I's bible study.